Categories
All Inspiring Interviews

Dating Etiquette Advice with author and model, Torrey Lisa

Dating Etiquette Advice with author and model, Torrey Lisa

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Inspiring Interviews

Essential Life Lessons with philanthropist, Ben Starling, III

Essential Life Lessons with philanthropist, Ben Starling, III

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Inspiring Interviews

Reorganizing Your Life and Home with professional organizer, Geralin Thomas

Reorganizing Your Life and Home with professional organizer, Geralin Thomas

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Inspiring Interviews

Productivity Strategies with productivity expert, Neen James

Productivity Strategies with productivity expert, Neen James

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Etiquette Videos

Zoom Etiquette: Do these 8 things DURING your next virtual meeting

Zoom Etiquette: Do these 8 things DURING your next virtual meeting

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Etiquette Videos

Face Mask Etiquette

Face Mask Etiquette

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Etiquette Videos

Three ways you can use your phone at dinner without being rude

Three ways you can use your phone at dinner without being rude

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Etiquette Articles

How to close a business email

Close business email
Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

How to close a business email

Choosing the proper closing can sometimes be tricky when you’re composing an email. Even though it only takes a second, you probably don’t give your closing a second thought. But if you want to come across as thoughtful, considerate and professional, it might be time to put some effort in the message you’re sending.

 

William Schwalbe, who co-authored Send: Why People Email So Badly And How To Do It Better, with David Shipley, believes a signoff is, to some very great degree, extremely important because it’s the final indicator of what your relationship is to the receiver.

 

Others believe email closings are largely determined by the setting of an email. For example, you might sign a message to your colleague with “Cheers” but use a more formal closing such as “Sincerely” with a prospective employer.

 

If you’re someone who obsesses over the proper professional email signoff, here are some closings to consider.

 

Sincerely

If you want to on the conservative side, especially in a situation where you want to make a professional first impression, use “Sincerely.” It works especially well when sending a job application and cover letter. Otherwise, this closing can come across as stiff and old-fashioned.

 

Best, Regards, Best regards, All the best

If you want to use a closing that covers the widest array of professional situations, a version of “best” or “regards” is usually a winner. These closings are suitable for any situation and you’re not going to offend anyone and you’ll still sound professional.

 

Warmly or Warm regards

This closing should only be used with someone you know well because it tends to have a warm and fuzzy feeling attached to it.

 

Cheers and Good wishes

These closings are effective when corresponding with close friends or when ending a celebratory email. But they shouldn’t be used excessively. They’re too informal for a lot of situations and can be misinterpreted and off-putting in the workplace.

 

Thanks, Thank you, and Thanks in advance

In an analysis of 350,000 email threads by email scheduling app Boomerang, any variation of “thank you” got significantly more responses than emails ending with other popular closers like “cheers,” “regards” and “best.”

 

Refrain from using “Thanks in advance” in all situations, especially if the person you’re emailing hasn’t agreed to do something. Thanking someone for a request that has not been completed can add coercive pressure.

 

As ever

If you want to go beyond the typical close, try the consistent message of “as ever” if you are friendly with the recipient and have gone through past exchanges. This is Schwalbe’s personal favorite because it covers personal and professional relationships and is “inherently reassuring.”

 

“It just means ‘Whatever we were before, we are still that. No worries, it’s all good,’” Schwalbe says.

 

When in doubt

If someone emails you first, just follow their lead. In other words, if the person ends their email with “Regards,” follow suit and you’ll never go wrong.

 

Skip the closing

A closer isn’t necessary if the email is part of an ongoing thread, but if it’s part of a new conversation it’s a necessary courtesy.

 

What is your favorite email closing and why?

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Etiquette Articles

10 Commandments of Travel Tipping Etiquette

Travel tipping etiquette
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

10 Commandments of Travel Tipping Etiquette

Going on a trip this summer? Don’t leave your manners at home. Be sure to bring plenty of cash so you can reward the people who do a great job for you and make your vacation more enjoyable. Here are my 10 Commandments of Travel Tipping Etiquette.

 

  1. Always tip unless tips are included in the service.

It’s customary in the United States to tip. It’s the way our system works, and many people depend on tips to pay their mortgage and put their children through school. So when you travel domestically (or unless you received poor service — more on that later), carry plenty of cash.

 

 

  1. Find out if a service charge is already added.

Depending on where you travel, there may be a gratuity already included in the total bill. For example, if you order room service, an 18% service charge is most likely included. If you go on a cruise or go to an all-inclusive resort, the service charges are also included. Tipping above and beyond the service charge is optional, but always appreciated. And when in doubt, always ask.

 

 

  1. Carry lots of single dollar bills.

Just before you leave on a trip, go to the bank and pull out $20-$30 in one-dollar bills. Most service providers prefer cash rather than credit.

 

 

  1. Tip anyone who touches your bags.

Just about everyone you come into contact with, from the skycap at the airport to the bellhop at the hotel, should receive a few dollars. The amount will always depend on how many bags you have and if they are heavy or not. The rule of thumb is $1 a bag. If your bag is especially heavy or clumsy, then give an extra $2 or $3.

 

 

  1. A 18-20 percent tip is the new norm.

Ten percent is too little, 15 percent is average, 18 percent is generous, and 20 percent is outstanding. If a person goes above and beyond or is extra helpful, tip more than 20 percent.

 

 

  1. Discuss your dissatisfaction with a manager.

In the event you receive less than stellar service, talk to the manager and make sure the problem is not something out of your service provider’s control. For example, if you go to a restaurant and you’re unhappy with the long wait or the way your food turns out, don’t be so quick to take your frustrations out on your server. Instead, talk to the person in charge. The problem may result from something that happened in the kitchen. In other words, get the facts and then make a judgement call.

 

 

  1. You’ll receive better service if you tip – especially if you tip well.

Money talks and kindness goes a long way. I’ve worked in the hospitality industry long enough to know that service providers will remember you and continue to give you the royal treatment if you’re extra kind or if you’re a good tipper. Besides, tipping is good karma.

 

 

  1. Tip extra if someone goes above and beyond.

If you tip the bellman for delivering your bags to your room, and then he offers to get you some ice, give him another $1 or $2. This shows your appreciation for the additional effort.

 

 

  1. Be quick to praise an outstanding employee.

Several years ago, I purchased a robe during one of my stays at the Four Seasons Resort and Club, Dallas at Las Colinas. On my way to the airport, I accidentally left my robe in a shopping bag in the trunk of my cab. When I went through security, I discovered the robe was missing. I quickly called the bell stand at the resort and the bellman miraculously tracked down the cab driver. A few days later, a package from the hotel arrived on my doorstep. Inside was my robe. I was so delighted with the extraordinary level of service I received, I wrote a thank-you note to the bellman and copied his manager and the general manager. Sometimes a good online review on social media or a handwritten note can mean more to someone than a monetary tip.

 

 

  1. When in doubt, follow this list.

Still not sure whom to tip, when or how much? Follow this handy-dandy reference guide:

 

Tipping in Airports

  • Taxi, Uber and Lyft drivers: 15-20 percent of the bill.
  • Car service: 20 percent of the bill. In some cases, the tip is included. If you’re not sure, ask.
  • Shuttle drivers: $1 per bag.
  • Skycaps: $1 to $2 per bag.

 

Tipping in Hotels

  • Doorman: $1 to $2 per bag for moving your bags from the car to the bell cart. Tip $1 to $2 dollars for hailing a taxi for you.
  • Bellman: $1 to $2 per bag and $1 to $2 for every delivery to your room.
  • Concierge: $10 or more for special services such as securing you a hard-to-get reservation to a popular restaurant.
  • Housekeeper: Tip $2 to $3 per night, add an additional $1 to $2 for special requests or longer stays. If you have the same housekeeper throughout your stay, place the money in an envelope labeled “Housekeeping” at the end of your trip and leave it in a location where it can be easily seen, such as on a pillow or on the bathroom counter. If there are multiple housekeepers, tip each day.
  • Room service: 15 to 18 percent of the bill before taxes. Tipping is optional if a service charge is included in the bill.
  • Valet: $2 to $3 each time an attendant retrieves your car.
  • Spa service: 18 to 20 percent of the bill.

 

Tipping in Restaurants

  • Coatroom attendant: $1 to $2 per item.
  • Maitre d’: $10 to $100 depending on the restaurant, occasion and level of service you expect. Present the tip before you sit down at your table.
  • Wine sommelier: Gratuity is optional but recommended for extremely attentive or helpful sommeliers. A tip of 5 to 10 percent of the wine charge is appropriate.
  • Restroom attendant: 50 cents to $1 for handing you a towel or if you use any products displayed on the sink.

Ask the Etiquette Expert

Categories
All Etiquette Articles

What to say to someone who has lost a loved one

Lost loved one
Photo credit: Adobe Stock Photo

What to say to someone who has lost a loved one

At one time or another, we all lose a loved one or dear acquaintance. It is a sad fact of life that some of us deal with better than others — though pain can also be buried or reveal itself in a variety of ways.

 

At such devastating times, we need the comfort and support of our friends and family. But death is a painful topic of conversation for many people.

 

So what do you say to someone who is grieving?

 

And more importantly, what don’t you say?

 

1) Share a fond memory.


A happy, heartfelt story about a loved one helps the bereaved person focus on the happy memories instead of the sorrowful times.

 

“Jim was the most generous guy I ever met, especially when he helped me install my new sprinkler system last summer,” you might say to a friend. “I will always remember his thoughtfulness.” Specifics like these work wonders.

 

 

2) Say something or write a letter.


If you are at a loss for words, simply be honest and acknowledge that: “There are no words,” or “I wish there was something I could say to help ease your pain.”

 

If you aren’t comfortable saying anything, a warm hug can do wonders.

 

If you still aren’t comfortable expressing your condolences in person, you should do so in writing. It’s always appropriate (and good etiquette) to send a sympathy card or a letter just letting someone know you care.

 

 

3) Neutralize your comments. 


When you comfort someone with different beliefs, refrain from saying things like, “It was God’s plan,” and “God gained another angel.” You can seem insensitive when what you intend is the very opposite of that.

 

“He’s in a better place,” or “It was for the best,” may also come across as insensitive — especially to parents who have lost a child. When told her son was in a “better place” after losing him at birth, a friend of mine was far more upset than comforted.

 

Instead, you might say, “Just remember, I’m here for you.” Or, “Please know I’m holding you (and your precious baby) in my heart.”

 

 

4) Focus on the grieving person.

 

When someone loses a loved one, he is more concerned about his own grief — not yours. “I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mother last year,” or “I know what you’re going through,” are insignificant comments to the bereaved person. You probably don’t know how that person feels at all — since everyone grieves differently.

 

 

 

 

6) Respect the person’s privacy.

 

Most people are curious to know how a person passes away. However, don’t get too personal or invasive by asking questions. The cause of death may be irrelevant to the one who is grieving. Allow that person time to share the details with you when appropriate.

 

Some people may take longer to share details and, in that case, the best gifts you can give are space and time.

 

 

7) Lend a helping hand.

 

Actions often speak louder than words. Instead of saying, “Call me if I can do something for you,” take the initiative and just do it. Those who are grieving don’t want to make any more decisions than absolutely necessary, so they most likely won’t call you.

 

Offer to take the person out to lunch or to a movie. Offer to make food, buy groceries, clean the house, or help make phone calls. If they have small children, offer to take care of them if you are able. Your constant friendship and small favors will be more meaningful and beneficial in the long run.

 

 

8) Concentrate on the present, not the future.

 

It’s never a good idea to ask a widow or widower if they think they will marry again. Furthermore, never say, “I guess you can now join us for singles night,” “I’ve already picked out your next husband (or wife),” or “If you plan on selling your spare car — please keep me in mind.”

 

The bereaved person can do without these types of comments.

 

Imagine yourself in their shoes — what would help you most to hear?

Ask the Etiquette Expert